"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands........" 1 Thessalonians 4:11

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Many Reasons Why The Chicken Crossed The Road

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isnʼt about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We donʼt really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Whereʼs my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chickenʼs intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesnʼt realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid heʼs acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, Iʼm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because heʼs guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmerʼs Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed Iʼve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didnʼt ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isnʼt that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


KathyB. said...

Ummm, the chicken crossed the road because she spied a bug there, and amazingly, she did not even know she had crossed the road. And she did get the bug ! Yum !!

This is a very funny post , made my morning. ( It is 12:08 a.m. )Thank-you !

Lanny said...

Okay, i really started to seriously giggle at the last three. Can I upgrade to eChicken 2008?

The chickens around here would cross the road because that is the side where the dead possum lies and ain't nothin' tastier than road kill, unless it is you.

Nancy M. said...

That is so funny! I could just hear those people saying those things!

Farm Chick Paula said...

Oh my goodness Kathleen, that is too funny! I think the Al Sharpton and Dick Cheney quotes are hysterical, but Dr. Suess is my favorite!!

City Mouse said...

Awesome post! And you know what I like about it best - equal opporunity! No one is spared, LOL. Great post!

Julie said...

Oh, Kathleen!
This is just the funniest thing!
I was just a giggling, over here!

But, now, I'm craving Chick-fil-a......


The Gingerbread House said...

That was a good laugh for me, but the real reason and truth of the matter was that the chicken crossed the road because he was coming to my house so I could dress him for Thanksgiving :o)

Vintage Linen Treasures said...

Too funny! It's amazing how you can almost hear these people saying these things. Love it!

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, and crosses the road again...

A dirty double crosser!!

Patricia :o)

Tipper said...

Very cute!!

LindaSueBuhl said...

How DID I miss this earlier this week? love it love it! Indeed everyone has a reason for the chicken crossing the road - not the least of which would be because said fowl wanted to meet a pickup truck right in the middle! (we lost at least a dozen guineas to road crossings gone wrong!) Thanks for the laughs

Kathy said...

This is hillarious, here I sit laughing out loud as I read it. Who ever wrote it was brilliant, each quote sounds so much like what the actual person would say. What a wonderful way to start the day - with a good belly laugh. Thank you so much for this post! It has made my day!

trisha too said...


and appropriate for someone with eggs in her pocket . . .

Daisy said...

Oh, ha ha ha ha! That was great, Kathleen. Thank you for the laugh! :D

Sand Flat Farm said...

Yeah, and on late-nite TV, you'll see advertisements for a new video ...


All shapes & sizes, crossing back and forth! dirty double crossin' chickens! & doin' things chickens ain't never done before!
only $19.95 plus S/H!

Lisa said...

That is pretty funny!! Love the last one... KFC, anyone?
I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who names every creature on their property... my chickens, goats, dog, cat, rabbits all have names. And we have some tadpoles on the way for the kids to raise... I'm sure they will have names, too.
you have a nice blog, I've enjoyed it!

Laura of Harvest Lane said...

This post is terrific, so funny!

I've got to refer my readers to it!

I love your "about me" description.

I'm wondering what area you live in? Cactus, mountain, cotton...is that Texas?

Thanks for coming to read my blog. I really appreciated your kind words.

Christmas blessings of focus on the Lord Jesus to you,