There is so much I love and will remember about the time I have been blessed to live where I live................long after I have been taken away and left at a nursing home......not seeming to remember or recognize. While many things might escape my old fragile mind by that time, there are many things my heart will keep and not allow to be erased.
One such thing, is a field that is off of our property. When we first moved here, it looked like this......33 acres of mesquite trees and brush, a comforting blanket surrounding our home. Not long after, the farmers made a decision to tear down the trees and clear the field for planting. I remember the day I heard the trees snap and buckle under the heavy machine, that looked like a dinosaur, chomping it's way through the woods, and the snap and pop of the fires that the trees surrendered to........a very sad day for me.......how I did not want to see this happen.
But I have found that even in things that I think are bad, good things come to surface. Because of the clear field, I now can see the early morning fog......coming towards the house......with the shadow of a lone deer walking through.....so still and quiet......breathtaking. No matter how many times I have come to this field, every day, it shows me something different.
I have witnessed the power and beauty of storms that come and go, raging through the grounds and leaving in the same moment with calmness.
In the still quiet darkness of early morning,with the calls of the coyote all around me, I walk to the field where it greets me with the beautiful colors of hues that my camera just can't justify. I am thankful to be able to arise to such a work of splendor each day. This I would miss if the trees were still there. 
And as the day draws to an end, a large old harvest moon comes dancing across the prairie, promising a night full of light and shadows. Deep in my heart.....among all of the images of the smiles and the light in the brown eyes of my sweetie, the many toothless smiles of the babies, the dear ones who have flitted in and out of my life, the sweet furball companions who once brought me joy...............there will be the image of this field, taking me back home.....to the home...........
where I belong.
How about you? What will remain in your heart forever? A sweet baby, a loved one, a place visited on vacation perhaps? I would love to hear!
22 comments:
That was almost sad.... but beautiful at the same time. My in laws are close to ninty, and not always fun to be with, but at the same time I think of myself at that age.... what will I be like. She is very negitive (lots of old people are). I do not want to be that way...Please... it is my prayer. I want to go to my favorite spot in my mind ( like you described). I have so many... my own babies and grands. Lets face it.... babies bring me a huge amount of joy. As far as places go... it changes for me... right now my trip to Mexico and the beautiful beach.
Thanks for the great post.
Kathleen, your words are so poetic and soothing somehow. The confidence you have in the Lord shows through. I still return in my mind to my grandparents' farm where I spent so much happy time as a child. I didn't appreciate it nearly as much then as I do now.
the heart knows all things wonderful.
LOve to your heart.
Lots to choose from there, Kathleen. Babies, family, farm. They're all important to me. I find myself going to back to my babies quite a bit. I miss having little ones, and as mine are now grown, & so far I have no grandkids, the faces of my own kids flit before me - their sweet smells, their eyes looking mine from the crook of my arm, the way they used to grin at me from behind their pacifiers or bottle, the ways they would cuddle close to me in my arms.
My immediate family is so precious to me, too, they are my rock and they grow more precious to me with each passing year and as each new wrinkle appears on the faces of my dear mom and dad.
I also draw strength from the beauteous world that the Lord has given us - my eyes cannot open wide enough to take it all in. I hope that in heaven, the Lord will give me something to paint and a heavenly talent to paint it, because I cannot do justice to His beauty here on earth no matter how hard I try. The first time we went to Colorado and we came into the first big valley where I could see the broad expanse of mountains spread out before me, tears ran down my face uncontrollably because I could not take it all in - the grandeur and beauty before me. My eyeballs could not open wide enough. One of the most moving experiences of my life to be sure.
Sorry this gotten so long. You hit a chord with me this day. Good post, Kathleen. I'll think about these things forever, God willing.
Kathleen,
It turns out that the clear cutting was a blessing...all the beautiful sights of nature that you can now experience in the asbsence of the mesquite trees.
Through 50 years of travels I can say without a doubt that the wonderful views from our home right now and the Smokey Mountains in general will be etched in my mind for eternity. The sight is calming and soothing and so I've decided that I'll never be hauled off to the nursing home..hehe :0)
Just let me fade away looking at my precious mountains...that is all I will need when everyone else is gone..I'm manifesting NO bitterness!...of course, this brings me to the horrible possibility of my Thomas not being there with me.
Here's a quote that I've repeated to Thomas....
If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.
-- Winnie the Pooh
That Pooh bear is such a romantic!! :0)
I so love coming here..I can always count on either laughing or crying by the time I leave! This post is bittersweet for sure...thanks for sharing your inner thoughts that somehow allow me to share mine without hesitation.
Scatter Bliss...
Stephanie
It is amazing that you would have never known all that had the trees still been there. Beautiful pictures! I love the trees surrounding our land, the children who are growing up here, and just being able to live here.
Breathtaking pictures, Kathleen. What a piece of paradise you have! You write so lyrically. I, too, think of holding tight to the blessings of the present moment because the present is all we're assured of. You have wonderful posts!
Such a lovely post! Makes me think of so many things such as my children and grandchildren as newborns, sunsets on the west side of our place, the great horned owl who slowly drifted up from the ground to land in the tall pine tree at the edge of the woods of our backyard. I saw him twice! The devotion of our Alaskan Malamute and my dear calico Emma who disappeared. So many things. V.
Your post is a blessing to me! It gave me so much to think about. I think the light in my girls eyes is what I love the most. But then there is so much wonder in God's universe it IS HARD TO TAKE IT ALL IN.
Pat
Kathleen, I love this post. And I have been trying to say "I love" a lot less but here I just really need to say it. This was great. It is amazing when we think of the times we are sure our heart is being wrenched out because of a certain event, this one the removal of trees, only to be able to look back later and see the blessing or joy it actually brought. We can surely miss it if we keep mourning the trees!
I loved your rainbow shot! I just love finding rainbows in the sky! Don't you?
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/
Kathleen, this is a beautiful post. I can so relate to your field. The view off our back deck is of the neighboring rancher's pasture and then on to the foothills. It is an ever-changing canvas depending on the time of day and the seasons. I delight in it always.
We're very lucky girls, aren't we?
I really loved this post, Kathleen. There really is something new to see there every day. I think it is that way everywhere in nature, but you have to be willing to look for the changes. Wonderful photos!
I pray, the Lord will allow for hubby & I to stay healthy enough we can watch over each other until the day we are called.
I pray, my mind will always take me back to my favorite spot just below the horses pasture. In my little cedar built cabin, tucked up close to our big beautiful clump birch. Over looking the fields of windswept grasses, listening to songs of birds resting on the trees nearby. In the far off distance a dog barking, all with a sunny filled sky.
I pray, my mind will surround me with my family members, and all the time we had to share with one another.
"Life is Good" for now, I pray that I may make the best of what God has in store for me, for us...
Blessings, Mel
You have a beautiful way with words my friend..I wanted to be there with you..even if there are no tall mountains! I love where I live, I want to live here forever and ever. It is pure peace here and everyday, like you, I feel the glory of of God in the world that surrounds me. MAYBE..it is not our surroundings...MAYBE it is the love of our eternal Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ that we are feeling! Come say hi :D
You live in an amazingly beautiful place. Always in my heart-my girls : )
Kathleen, you have written a very heart felt piece here. You are such a special person and it shows in your writing. You have depth, and compassion. You have integrity and genuineness.
Keep up the good work.
Grammyof13
Just a beautiful, beautiful post, Kathleen. I think my most profound memories will be of the cats that have come in and out of my life. They have been the sources of my greatest joys and deepest sorrows.
Y'all are making me cry now but I wouldn't have missed reading this for the world. It is true that all things work together for good.
Your post and the comments are just lovely.
beautiful!
Beautiful words and pictures, Kathleen...
I remember the first time I saw the ocean; the time I rescued a hummingbird and was able to hold it in my hands; the last day I spent with my mother; the day the Space Shuttle exploded; my first day of school; my wedding day; and holding a baby lamb in my arms and praying it would live.
Thanks for sharing your heart in this post!
Some of my fondest memories are time I spent with my Grandmother (the one in the picture with me when a young girl in my blog) especially Christmas...I will always know that she was the true Santa and the spirit of Christmas...and of course special memories of giving birth to my Oldest Son and my Only Daughter...I have many special memories of my parents also and always think of them more often this time of year..I doubt if any of my kids or Grandkids have such special memories of being with me...I could never be as special as my Grandmother was to me :)
I guess I just have to many memories to write in here :)
Nancy
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